Merry Christmas

It is so fun having little ones in this season. They keep things simple. And help me to truly remember the reason for this season, Jesus Christ. I thank God so much for giving me the greatest gift of all, Christ, and through Him I receive so much like forgiveness from all my sins past, present, future, reconciliation with God, eternal life, the Holy Spirit...
May you all have a very Merry Christmas!!

8 And in the same region there were shepherds out in the field, keeping watch over their flock by night.
9 And an angel of the Lord appeared to them, and the glory of the Lord shone around them, and they were filled with fear.
10 And the angel said to them, "Fear not, for behold, I bring you good news of great joy that will be for all the people.
11 For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Savior, who is Christ the Lord.

10 years...a story of true friendship final post

Ten years ago today Kristin went home to be with our heavenly Father.  So today will be the last post ending this series.  I have enjoyed remembering our little moments and what God did through her life.  Though it can be painful to remember at times because I dearly miss her, I desire to remember because it encourages me to fix my eyes on Jesus and live for Christ alone.  It gives me eternal perspective and grows my passion to serve others that they may know Christ.  Thanks for reading along.  I hope it encourages you to examine your life and make sure your trust is in Christ alone.  Kristin was always eager to serve and desired to see others receive Christ.  The ministry where she served in college has a scholarship created in memory of Kristin to help someone financially to serve in missions.  Here is a link to learn more about that KDSF.

I thought I would end with these verses that display the truth about how God uses hard times to reveal his mercy and provides us hope for the future.

2 Corinthians 4 (NIV)

Present Weakness and Resurrection Life

 ¹ Therefore, since through God’s mercy we have this ministry, we do not lose heart. ² Rather, we have renounced secret and shameful ways; we do not use deception, nor do we distort the word of God. On the contrary, by setting forth the truth plainly we commend ourselves to everyone’s conscience in the sight of God. ³ And even if our gospel is veiled, it is veiled to those who are perishing. ⁴ The god of this age has blinded the minds of unbelievers, so that they cannot see the light of the gospel that displays the glory of Christ, who is the image of God. ⁵ For what we preach is not ourselves, but Jesus Christ as Lord, and ourselves as your servants for Jesus’ sake. ⁶ For God, who said, “Let light shine out of darkness,” made his light shine in our hearts to give us the light of the knowledge of God’s glory displayed in the face of Christ.  ⁷ But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us. ⁸ We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; ⁹ persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed. ¹⁰ We always carry around in our body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be revealed in our body. ¹¹ For we who are alive are always being given over to death for Jesus’ sake, so that his life may also be revealed in our mortal body. ¹² So then, death is at work in us, but life is at work in you.
 ¹³ It is written: “I believed; therefore I have spoken.” Since we have that same spirit of faith, we also believe and therefore speak, ¹⁴ because we know that the one who raised the Lord Jesus from the dead will also raise us with Jesus and present us with you to himself. ¹⁵ All this is for your benefit, so that the grace that is reaching more and more people may cause thanksgiving to overflow to the glory of God.
 ¹⁶ Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. ¹⁷ For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. ¹⁸ So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal. 
 
We have been given the greatest treasure Christ.  And I am but a jar of clay nothing special and with no power, but God made His light shine in my heart and gave me the knowledge of the glory of God! In my own strength I cannot walk in hardships and praise God, but by God's grace I find hope in God alone.  Join with me today and pray for Kristin's family that they may find rest in God alone.

I will end with this song from Psalm 62 (ESV) which says:

 For God alone my soul waits in silence;

from him comes my salvation.

2 He alone is my rock and my salvation,

my fortress; I shall not be greatly shaken.

3 How long will all of you attack a man

to batter him,

like a leaning wall, a tottering fence?

4 They only plan to thrust him down from his high position.

They take pleasure in falsehood.

They bless with their mouths,

but inwardly they curse. Selah

5 For God alone, O my soul, wait in silence,

for my hope is from him.

6 He only is my rock and my salvation,

my fortress; I shall not be shaken.

7 On God rests my salvation and my glory;

my mighty rock, my refuge is God.

8 Trust in him at all times, O people;

pour out your heart before him;

God is a refuge for us. Selah

9 Those of low estate are but a breath;

those of high estate are a delusion;

in the balances they go up;

they are together lighter than a breath.

10 Put no trust in extortion;

set no vain hopes on robbery;

if riches increase, set not your heart on them.

11 Once God has spoken;

twice have I heard this:

that power belongs to God,

12 and that to you, O Lord, belongs steadfast love.

For you will render to a man

according to his work.

Oh Praise Him,  Hallelujah, My Delight and My Reward, Everlasting, Never Failing, My Redeemer, 

My God!

10 years...a story of true friendship part 7

I have seen that when hard times come they test your faith and they show you what you really do believe.  Whether it be the hard times of middle school where people make fun of you, the peer pressure of high school, the hard exams in college, the sleepless nights as a young mom, the loss of a loved one, or the loss of a job. Whatever the trial no matter how big or small these trials reveal what is truly in your heart.  These times reveal where you place your trust. 
The only way to walk in a manner pleasing to God is to seek Him daily so when trials come we can see clearly His way and walk in it.  "Since, then, your have been raised with Christ, set your hearts on things above, where Christ is seated at the right hand of God.  Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things. For you died, and your life is now hidden with Christ in God.  When Christ, who is your life, appears, then you also will appear with him in glory." Colossians 3:1-4
One specific thing God taught me is that when trials come God does reveal your heart through them, and you can choose to learn from it and mature or wallow in your sin.  I was wallowing (woe is me attitude), I lost my best friend, she knew me better than anyone in this world, how would I ever have that again, how would I go on...you see the pattern...the sin of selfishness.  God convicted me of this sin of being "me" centered.  And instead showed me the true GIFT He had blessed me with and this grew my heart with Love and Gratitude to God and helped me grow clarity of His purpose for my life.  He had blessed me with a inexpressible loving friend that He used to reveal Christ to me.  And now He was calling me to be that friend to others so that He could use my life to reveal Himself to those He placed in my life. 
To end today here is a song that encourages me, hope it encourages you.

10 years... a story of true friendship part 6

Once school started back fall of 2000 I don't remember how much we saw each other.  But I do remember spending lots of time together over Christmas break.  That year I remember my dad working on Christmas eve.  So we packed up the presents and took them to his work and Kristin came along.  (her family celebrated Christmas on Christmas Day, so that Christmas eve we hung out).  Kristin and I always tried to spend New Years together.  This last New Years we went to Stephanie's house, a friend of mine from college.  Kristin was able to meet some of my encouraging Christian friends. And she really loved Steph and Christina :)  I am glad we got to spend this last New Years together.  Here is a pic from our last New Years

Kristin, Stephanie, Christina, and myself

2001 was her last year here as she went home Dec. 8th.  I do have sweet memories from that year, like my birthday she bought me a thinline bible my first "small" bible and she had my name engraved and we went to eat at Merchants in Nashville she treated me..and for some reason I even remember what we ate (figured that may be a bit much on the details)!  I also met my husband that year (though I don't think I thought we would be married someday haha) Kenny and so that summer the three of us went out together.  We went to eat at Fudruckers and then went to Dancin in the District.  Kristin told me she liked Kenny, so today I am thankful Kenny was able to meet her. 
That year for her birthday I wrote Kristin a poem and framed it for her with my cheesy art... But I thought I would end today's post with that poem I wrote her.

Kristin

Your friendship means so much to me

I don't know where I would be

Your faith has been an inspiration to me

And a light for all to see

You have always been the fearless one

Not even knowing what is yet to come

Because though the faith you display

You know He will show you the way

We may not always be near

Yet we have nothing to fear

For we pray-

For one another each day

Thank you for always being there

Thank you for always showing that you care

Most of all thank you for sharing your faith each day

For He used you to show me the way.

When you go through the hardship of a loss you grow and you change.  When she went home I had a million emotions and the most pain I had ever experienced.  But also I experienced God and His word became more real to me than ever before and I held on to it and God held on to me.  For the next 2 days I will share some of the things God taught me through those days, months, even years and still today that God is growing me in and showing me.  I pray this is all an encouragement to you to KNOW God the One and Only the True and Living God. 

10 years...a story of true friendship part 5

I just thought I would start off today by saying the more I think about my friendship with Kristin the more I am overwhelmed and cannot even express it enough just how THANKFUL to God I am that He blessed me with such an amazing friend.
Yesterday I left off around Feb. of 2000.  Her last years were so sweet for me.  We both kept pretty busy schedules during college.  So we would just try and make it a point to hang out when we were in town together, and go and visit each other.  When we were out of school for the summer we decided to take a fun weekend getaway trip to St. Louis, MO.  You may be asking why St. Louis :)  It was not terribly far, we found a good hotel rate, and there was lots of free stuff to do there :) So we went and had a wonderful time! Our friendship truly went deeper because of the bond we now shared being sisters in Christ.  Here is a photo of my scrapbook from that year...I am truly sentimental I even saved the metro link stub :)

That summer Kristin served God through the TN Baptist Collegiate Summer Mission Team and I stayed home that summer.  So we kept in touch through good ole' snail mail and an occasional call.  She had a weekend off and so I was able to visit her I remember at a hotel in Brentwood, TN.  I am so thankful for those letters that summer.  They still encourage me today everytime I read them.  I want to share one letter she wrote me for my birthday.  [one thing I would like to add is I am not putting this out there for you to think highly of me, but I just want you to see how she loved me and how she was focused on me knowing GOD and making Him known!] 

God truly used Kristin in my life in a huge way.  But even today her words encourage me to fix my eyes on Christ and to fight the good fight and to finish the race and stand firm in Christ.  May her life encourage you today to fight to Know Christ passionately and may that Passion for Him pour out to those around you.

10 years...a story of true friendship part 4

OK let me gather my thoughts of where we were.  I looked at the bible last night that Kristin bought me and she wrote the date in it, January 1, 2000 :)  Ringing in the new year with God's word.  She also wrote me a little note and the verse "My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever." Psalm 73:26

When I got back to college I began reading the bible daily.  Not because I wanted to be good, but honestly I had never read the bible and so I had no idea what was in it.  A lot of it didn't make any sense to me but I read it and just wrote out the questions I was having.  God was placing friendships in my life and through those friendships I began seeking answers to my questions.  Some of the things I wrestled through was the validity of the bible.  I could write probably for years on this topic but if that is something you wonder about I linked some articles to my blog if you go to my Resource page.  God worked in my heart and showed me His Word IS true.  Then I began to explore the truth in the scriptures.  And the gospel message became amazing to me!   I  HAD believed that I was not an evil person I just did bad things every now and then.  The condition of my heart was that of a very prideful person.  And so God had to humble me.  I realized I AM a sinner and He is Holy and so I need Him to help me with this sin problem that I have.  Psalm 5:4-5 says "You are not a God who takes pleasure in evil; with you the wicked cannot dwell. The arrogant cannot stand in your presence, you hate all who do wrong. You destroy those who tell lies; bloodthirsty and deceitful men the Lord abhors."

I could never see my need for Jesus until I could see that I needed to deal with my sin.  And if you are a "good" person then why would you need Jesus?  I just thought God was pleased with me because I was this "good" person...so where did Jesus fit in the equation?  But for the first time in my life I saw the real state I was in.  I saw I was evil in God's eyes.  Jesus put it clear in Luke 5:31-32 "It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick. I have not come to call the righteous, but the sinners to repentance."  All my life I was like the "healthy" person and so I saw no need for Christ the "doctor".  But God opened my eyes to my sin disease and I realized I desperately need Christ to be my doctor and save me from this sin disease. Christ's message is simple John 3:16 "For God so loved the world that He gave His one and only Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life."

So February 2000 GOD changed me!  I believe in Christ and so I believe God has forgiven me of all my sins - past, present, and future.  I believe that God will allow me into heaven because of Christ's work on the cross, not because of anything I have done or can do.   John 5:24 "I tell you the truth, whoever hears my word and believes Him who sent me has eternal life and will not be condemned, he has crossed over from death to life."  God has crossed me over from death to life.  I also attached an article on what it means to "believe" on my Resource page  because this was also something I had to understand and would take me tooo long to write on here.
Lastly I will share I called Kristin in February to tell her how I had decided to put my trust in Christ alone and for the first time I understood her love for God! And here are a couple of sweet notes she sent me.

"Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ!  In His great mercy He has given (not earned) us new birth into a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, and into an inheritance that can never perish, spoil, or fade - kept in heaven for you, who through faith (trust in Christ, not your works) are shielded by God's power..." -1 Peter 1:3-5

Tomorrow I will share more about how our friendship grew so much before she went to heaven as I began to understand her passion for Jesus.  And more about how her life continues to impact me everyday.  I would also love to share more letters she wrote me that reveal her love for God. Here are a few more fun pictures my dad sent me that he had previously scanned!  Thanks Papa! :)

4th grade when our friendship began

monkey bar fun! we were here often!

8th grade

high school

Jr Prom

Sr. Prom

Aruba!

College - visiting her at UTC

10 yrs...a story of true friendship part 3

Thanks for reading along as I share more of this gift of friendship God gave me through my relationship with Kristin.  And how God used Kristin to impact my life for all eternity.  If you haven't read the previous post you may want to so this all makes sense to you.
When college came we decided to go to separate colleges.  There really wasn't any real reason why we didn't go to the same college.  I just wanted to cheer and I made TTU's squad so I just decided that is where I would go.  I wrote earlier I see now this was all part of God's plan and I will share a little more about what went on in my life for you to see all this.  When I went to college I cheered and joined a sorority.  In HS I was pretty "low key" when it came to involvement, so when I went to college I was eager to get involved.  As I got more involved on campus and in these social groups my commitment to my morality went down. For example: I said I would never get drunk, and that was thrown out the window.  I share that to show you how God used this to show me that the "good" person I thought I was...I wasn't really as "good" as I believed I was.  I felt bad about it but then was quick to justify it in my mind, hey this is normal this is what you do in college, I just need to "loosen" up.  And so what if you do "wrong" things every now and then as long as I do good things to balance it out. 
 This is a big reason I think God sent us to different colleges.  Rebellion and sin is in my heart but I had never acknowledged it or acted on any "big" sins because I didn't want to compromise my friendship with Kristin and I knew she would never be into this kind of stuff.  So by God removing her from my day to day life my true heart came out for me to see.  And the sinner I am became a true reality. 
During this time (this is over a year and half into my sophomore yr of college) I kept in contact through phone and letters (snail mail mostly!) with Kristin. (I am thankful for that snail mail as I have kept every letter and will share some of her words in future posts)  It's crazy to think about I never had a cell phone in college or we hardly used e-mail much.  Kristin would come and visit me she was much more faithful about this than me coming to see her.  I remember one day breaking down and confessing my sin to Kristin.  I wasn't sure what she would think. I remember her acknowledging  I was a sinner and she never tried to justify it by saying but look at all these good things you do.  Instead she saw my heart was growing more open to considering Christ and His work and so she suggested she buy me a bible.   I was open to her buying me a bible.  So we went to the book store and she picked out a bible for me.  The fact that she was willing to buy me one was loving to me but I was thinking she would buy me a cheap one.  But she spent over $40 on this bible!  To me the sacrifice to buy me a nice bible spoke so much love to me, I had no idea they could be that expensive.  That may seem like not a big deal to you but to me I knew she didn't have just extra money to throw around all the time.  This was during my winter break from college. So I will stop here and start tomorrow with the Spring semester of my sophomore year.

my freshman yr in my old dorm room

10 years...a story of true friendship part 2

Yesterday I shared how I met my best friend Kristin.  And just how perfect God knit our lives together. So if you missed it check it out first before reading this.  Our middle school and high school years were alot of fun.  That is one thing I remember about those days.  Some fun memories are the younger years playing in her neighbors corn field.  For some reason I remember that being a blast.  Also I remember in 5th grade we thought it would be cool if Aaron was my boyfriend and if I ended up marrying him then we could be "real" sisters :)  Haha...so there you have it folks Aaron was my "first" boyfriend, but that wasn't meant to be I think it only lasted like a week, but God has blessed us both with wonderful spouses today :) Another thing I remember about those years were fried green tomatoes.  Random I know but her mom made them and I had never heard of them and I thought they were awesome!  My mom and I enjoy them still today!  Oh yes I also remember we were into the American dolls.  She had Samantha and I had Molly.  And we enjoyed playing with those together.  I have actually had friends that knew me then ask me if I named my daughter after that doll! Definitely didn't mean too but I will share that Molly is named after Kristin.  My daughters name is Molly Kristin Hayes.  And we decided on that name because I wanted her to have Kristin's name and Molly actually means Joyful and Kristin means Christian.  And Kristin was a Joyful Christian to me and I pray my Molly will grow into a joyful Christian as well :)

notice the art work to make this photo frame :) those days digital framing wasn't available haha :)

 

beginning of our friendship

 Also during the middle school/high school days I would occasionally go to church with Kristin, sometimes for a fun hang out times or to the worship service.  I will be honest I never really felt comfortable there mainly because I had never been exposed to such friendly people in a church environment and people openly talking about God.  Also the worship service was way different than anything I had ever seen.  So I was just uncomfortable in this new environment. I always viewed myself as a good person, so if anyone ever asked me about if I was a Christian I would say yes, because I thought the definition of a Christian was a good person, someone who had morals.  It may have been a "small" thing spiritually to bring me to church but I see it was these seeds that soften my heart to consider true Christianity and be open to investigating it in college. 

In high school we had a habit of writing each other notes.  For some reason I kept a few.  I am a bit of a sentimental personality so I suppose that is why but I am grateful today to have these to remind me of our sweet friendship.  

notes I saved

movie stubs I saved..even the ones from Aruba!

Also in high school once I was driving we would save our money and then go get dinner and see a movie together.  This may not sound awesome to you but I LOVED doing this with her!  I remember loving going to Chili's together and splitting their peppercorn burger!  Still today when I go there I think of her if I ever order a burger.  It's kinda funny for me to think about now, but I remember one time a guy asked me out when we had planned to go out and I turned him down and then Kristin suggested I invite him to come with us, haha...and he actually did come hang out with us for dinner!  Another thing I always admired about Kristin was she was always so loving to everyone.  Even if I would share how I disliked someone she would never join in with me.  She always had the best smile and was so friendly!

When we graduated we took a trip just the two of us to Aruba.  Her aunt was living there and also was very open about talking about God.  So more exposure to the thought of having a relationship with God I saw there.  We had a wonderful fun time!  And one thing we did I still can't believe I did was we went scuba diving!  If you know me I am a chicken! I am still amazed she got me to do that with her!  But we really had a memory filled time there.  Once we graduated from HS we went to different colleges.  For a long time I really wondered why we did that!  Seemed  unbelievably crazy to me not to go through that season together.  But I really see now God was up to something and this was all part of His plan :)  And I will share our college life story of friendship with you tomorrow :)

Praising God and thanking Him for this gift of friendship :)